Once upon a time, you were young…. Life spanned the horizon, full of promises. You had your life mapped out, wife and children by the age of 35, a great career, money in the bank, holidays twice a year, a beautiful home, good health, a fast car… in fact, your life would be pretty fantastic. Fast forward to now and you wake up wondering who you are, you have a good job but you do not feel fulfilled and you begin to wonder whose life you have been living. You have the wife or the husband but you hardly notice each other any more. Life is mundane, and predictable. You are deep in the middle of your life and you feel stuck! Life has lost its meaning and you feel desperate to feel alive once more.
We are meaning-seeking animals and a life that constricts meaning wounds the soul. By attending to our deepest needs and by tuning in to the soul’s conversation we can start to heal and embrace the second-half of life. The second half of life offers rich growth, understanding and spiritual enlargement. In the first half of life we made choices through naivety and an unconscious state, in the second half of life we can make choices through knowledge, experience and consciousness. Our lives can take on a whole new meaning and happiness and fulfilment awaits us.
There are many questions that you could ask yourself during your midlife years, including:
- How have you got to where you are? What outside forces have driven you, supported where you are right now and perhaps even constricted you?
- Whose life have you been living? When you chose your path, your relationship or career whose voices were you listening to? Were you listening to your deepest desires or were you driven by the voices of Mum, Dad, friends etc.?
- Is the life you are living too small for you? Does your soul desire you to be bigger in this world? What is keeping you small?
- What do you want from life? Who do you want to be? What would you still like to achieve?
Now may be the time to examine one’s life closely but this should not be done on a whim. To engage in deep soulful conversations with oneself takes time, courage and strength but you will be rewarded with a new richness in life. You may have to face the painful realities of the past and present and enter the darkness but as Jung wrote “The task of midlife is not to look into the light, but to bring light into the darkness’ “.
For information on counselling or coaching in Loughton or South Woodford, please contact me.